Sunday, June 29, 2014

"I Like You, Mommy"

June 29th, 2014
Sometimes, there are things in my heart that I want to share with the world, but then there are really no words it seems for the deepness of it. I take a picture of the moment that just happened in my mind, hoping to remember it- the emotion, the smells, the words, the place.  
How do you communicate to another about that moment in time that a little 4 year old girl found safety emotionally. The moment when time stood still and I knew I should be still and let it happen. 
There we were, she had been "tucking" me in for a nap as I lay on the couch. Over and over, she tirelessly put the heavy blanket on me even though it kept falling down when she tried to get under it and lay in my arms. "Here mommy, lay here, fold your arms, ok, go to sleep, here's a blanket, I get beside you." Then she whispers, "I like you mommy, I really like you."  She would cuddle for a few minutes, burying her head into my chest, snuggling as if she weren't close enough already, implying that she just needed to nestle deeper. ( I've been here in this moment before on another continent. I know what is happening, My son did the same thing after he was put in my arms in Africa. Its a knowing that the hole in their hearts has suddenly started to fill. Connection is happening. Their starving spirits are finally being fed with true love. ) A little later after the 15th tuck in, I tell her, "My nap is over, I have to cook dinner". She obliges, because eating is one of her favorite things to do but as I sit up she scoots over to my lap facing me. I instinctively stop. She puts her face on mine, eye to eye, nose to nose. I don't move, letting her take the lead. We sit there, breathing each other's breathe. Then she kisses me, saying, "I love you mommy, I love you." In these moments, I know a wound is being healed in her. I feel Jesus in me. I ponder the deep, unexplainable things that only supernatural love brings into this world. It's mysterious. It's amazing to see. I am in awe.

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