And email to Duane on July 19

Well, here it was July 19, and we had not heard a thing from anybody. Duane had already called the Senator's office so much he didn't want to call them again as they had pretty much implied, "We'll call you if we learn of anything. " I had been in touch with the Embassy almost everyday to see if we had been loaded into the database. As I had gone ahead and purchased plane tickets thinking, " You can't beat this deal, this has got to be the flight we are supposed to be on!" I was wondering what was going on. Waiting is hard. I was also learning to wait on God. It was so hard. I was also sensing that being gone this long was really hard on Duane and the kids in a lot of ways. He was exhausted from a long day at work and would only be able to come home eat dinner and then head to bed. The kids were liking not being monitored. Several times I saw where they were on line at odd hours of the evening or heard reports of them playing video games when they were supposed to be in bed. But what could I do 3000 miles away? I had a feeling things were sliding and everybody was just getting by.
Here is an excerpt from an email I sent to Duane:

"Hey Duane. I hope you are having a good day by the time you read this. I want you to know I love you.
I am so excited about coming home. I must admit I have been having a struggle spiritually with the Embassy thing.
I KNOW God has it in his hands but my desire to come home on Wed. is so strong that I dont want to be disappointed and dont know if I can handle the disappointment. Then Again what else can I do but trust God with it all?
So there is where I am. Nothing like cuttin' it to the wire.
On another note, ..... you might want to check out when the kids are going to bed. It might explain some of their behaviors. You know how some of them are with lack of sleep.
I love you and miss you very much.
I hope to email you with good news tomorrow.
Love, Melissa