Saturday, February 28, 2009

Weariness on Gotcha Day!

Today has been one of those days that though good has had my mind over 3000 miles away in Africa. Today is Mukisa Isaiah's Gotcha Day. One year a go today, that sweet boy landed in my arms and I was in love again!
And Once again it has been bittersweet. Though I would like to say to you that I have been all joyful today and all week, I really have not. My faith in God, that He will bring this to completion, has not
wavered but my whole being has been weary. Sometimes I feel guilty for being weary in this wait battle but I know in my heart God my Father understands. I asked him for a sign last night that would keep me hoping that things would change. Gideon and others in the Bible asked for a sign and God
granted it. Something that would push me forward to keep up the Hope within me. In Hebrews 11 it says, "Faith is the evidence of those things, We hope for but that we do not see" (paraphrased by me)and that definitely qualifies in this situation. I know God will be faithful to complete the good work in us that He started. It is such a spiritual warfare issue. And the reality of it is that people actually get tired in a battle. So I am going to be real and tell myself that it is ok to be weary. I am still trusting my Father and am asking him to carry me. Without his strength, I would have never made it this far on this journey.
Today was especially emotional because, it was today that I had planned on cleaning
out Isaiah's and Allenni's closet . Now that we have been waiting so long, clothes that have been waiting for a year, now will be too small for them. My dad is traveling to Nigeria next month to get some work done on the orphanage my mom and he started and needed clothes for their first 5 kids. Click here to visit their blog. The kids happened to be the ages I had clothes for. So I went through the closets and pulled out dresses and baby items as well as clothes Eli had outgrown. While doing this, unexpectedly emotion welled up inside me and tears spilled through my eyes.
Letting go of each dress, I had imagined Allenni spinning around in and each baby outfit that I had imagined Isaiah being so cute in was harder than I thought it would be. Knowing though that some other little baby named Isaiah and a little girl named Janice was getting the clothes provided some conselation but still it grieved me. The
clothes have dwindled now to where there is barely anything left. This is the third time I have gone through them and given them away. I am glad though that the children they have been given to will be blessed and I know that God will honor that. Since this post has gotten quite long, I will make another post to talk about Isaiah.

These are the kids who will receive the clothes
Isaiah in Nigeria

Enoch and Paulina

Daniel and Ruth

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