Tuesday, July 9, 2013

DUANE EXPOSED

The other night, our family went out for some fun as our church held a family fun night at the Aquatic Center here in town. We had never been there before so didnt know what to expect. They had diving boards of various heights, a huge swimming pool, A kiddy land, a waterslide, Rock climbing wall and a water obstacle course. All evening the kids had been asking Duane to race on the obstacle course and he finally gave in.  Duane can be competitive at times and  he was very into beating Allenni.  His ambitious behavior cost him though and So I wrote a funny little article and posted it on Facebook.  We are still laughing........

DUANE CARTER,LOCAL PEDIATRICIAN EXPOSED AT BETHEL FAMILY POOL NIGHT
Even though Skinny Dipping was not on the agenda for the Bethel Family Pool Night, it seems Duane Carter took competition to a whole new level with this form of swimming. 
Your local pediatrician was on a sure track to winning the Aquatic Obstacle Course against his 11 year old daughter, Allenni last night at the ever so crowded Bethel Family Pool night. He dove into the water over the last obstacle pretty sure of his victory but upon coming up out of the water, he saw his daughter Allenni already out of the water pointing at him, bent over in laughter. Other onlookers had looks of shock and disbelief. Mothers covered their children's eyes. Mouths dropped open and everyone stood there stunned, starring at something as if they had never seen anything like it! That was true of course, but that is beside the point. Duane relished his so-thought victory for a moment, amazed that he had so many admirers. It was then that he realized that their faces were not about a victory at all. Almost immediately he felt a little cooler and free-er than normal (which is what Bethel is all about by the way). Upon looking down, where he felt the cool breeze blowing off of the river nearby, he felt the demise of his victorious thoughts as they turned to ones of horror. Every Pediatrician's nightmare had come true.... Exposure. His swimming trunks were no longer helpful in concealing the lower half of his body. Evidently, upon his victorious leap, they had caught on an apparatus and had split down the front of both legs, revealing a sight that is prohibited in Pediatrician offices. It is reported that there were no speedos under his swim trunks, making things worse. (His wife had been telling him for years to buy a pair as backup ever since Michael Phelps made them popular) Many are thanking God that he was quick on his feet to sit down immediately to hide this wardrobe malfunction. His daughter Allenni, still laughing hilariously was able to accost her brother Andrew taking his towel which he did not give up easily and the evening was seemingly saved. Unfortunately, his wife missed seeing this great event but was quick on the draw to pull out her iphone to snap a few pics afterwards. The family was seen leaving the Aquatic Center laughing with Allenni still hysterically giggling about her dad! This will be a memory that they will never forget. But we do hope that all mothers in the area forget easily. Duane was heard to say that he might have to go into work wearing a white coat as a disguise. It has also been rumored that the Transformation Center will be offering discounted sozos to those who were affected by this exposure.

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