Sunday, April 7, 2013
At times in the night and even the day on this trip, in processing what I've have already seen, heard and done, I have moments that my heart is so full that I find tears are rolling down my cheeks. On this trip so far, those tears came from great sadness as I looked into the eyes of the young girls and boys sensing the hurt that they have experienced and I feel my Father's heart of Love for them. The tears have also come from a heart of gratefulness that the kids are safe and will now know Hope because they are at Destiny. Sometimes, they came because I was sensing the intense Love and Proudness that God has for his children who gave up so much as they made a choice to do something about setting the captives free.
I don't know why God let's me feel His heart for some but when I come upon those people and God lets me in on His heart for them, I want them and the whole world to know that their Creator is bragging about them. I want to put my arms around them and hug them to let them know that Jesus is so happy and loves them do deeply. This kind of aftercare can deplete and overwhelm you at times. I want them to know that they are priceless in His Kingdom.
Other times, I find the tears rolling down my face are from an intense Love I feel for Jesus. The Lover of my soul, has always been there for me. I have known that. I have felt that. But when it comes to loving Jesus back in a spiritual way, I have struggled with it. Yes, I have loved Him in a tangible way, all my life doing service, but I wanted to go deeper and love him fully with my spirit and soul. Feelings of Love, didn't seem to just pop up. For some time, I have been asking God about this. I have made it known that I want to FEEL love for Him, not just know with my mind that I love Him. I just didn't know how to get there. I wanted to move past a choice to love and into an overtaken, deep in love, I can't help it, kind of love.
Anyway, for the past few days, I have experienced such love for my God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. My heart cried out in true Love towards them and all that they are. My spirit and soul were raptured in this Awesome momentum. Broken, in love.