Yes, I had my times of asking God what was going on and that I did not understand all of this delay. But God was teaching me to put it in his hands and deep down I trusted God enough to not go into despair. I always had hope that He was a rewarder of those who diligently sought after him. He was teaching me to cast my burdens on him sometimes even moment by moment.
Since I was so sick and lacked energy some days, I didn't journal like I wanted to but did try to put posts on Facebook.
Keeping in touch and knowing people were praying for us was a real encouragement.
God would send a word through scripture or by a person to let me know He was still there.
I posted this on FB around July 22nd:
THIS is how I'm feeling right now : SONG BY CASTING CROWNS
"I was sure by now, God , you would have reached down & wiped our tears away, stepped in & saved the day. Once again, I say amen and its still raining. As the thunder rolls, I barely hear you whisper through the rain,"I'm with you"...I'll praise you in this storm, & I will lift my hands, for you are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I've cried, you hold in your hands, you've never left my side & though my hear is torn, I will praise you in this storm. .... My strength is almost gone, how can I carry on, if I can't find you? As the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you". And as your mercy falls, I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. I'll praise you in this storm!!"
I LIFT MY EYES UNTO THE HILLS, WHERE DOES MY HELP COME FROM! MY HELP COMES FROM THE LORD, MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH.
Thanks everyone for your prayers. Melissa
A friend that I met when we kept the boys from the African Children's Choir sent me this message:
I understand what you are saying...! I encourage you to CONTINUE waiting on the Lord.May He renew your strength.God never lies.I pray that you completely throw yourself in the fathers care and have him refresh you. Am taking some special times to pray with you...keep the updates coming...let us know how you are feeling.Together,we will call on Him!
We leave Indiana for Ohio on Friday. Much love my sister. Guard your heart least you grow weary!
Then I opened up an email devotional I receive for homeschoolers and found this:
Thursday / July 23, 2009
"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me" (Jeremiah 32:27)?