Saturday, August 16, 2008

REd Letters Campaign- Older Child Attachment --PART 4

I am hooking up with Red Letters Campaign to promote awareness through my blog for orphans and adoption. So occasionally you will see me post an answer to an adoption question here on my blog.
This week's question caught my attention because of the things we have been through with our 2 daughters who were adopted from Romania at ages 9 and 10. t The answer is very long and I probably could write a book but I have tried to shorten it for blogging purposes. I felt that now was the time to share our story in some detail so parents going through this would know that someone understands. So they would know that there is HOPE. Your child and your family can have hope that attachment can happen even in the direst of situations. I have talked to my girls about sharing this and they have agreed that it is ok. I have only used a letter in place of their names to help with privacy.
I have actually cut this into several parts so bear with me.

Question: Older Child Attachment. . oh yes, that again! The ever present question with adopting older children. Please, give us specific strategies that worked for you in attaching as well as examples of conversations that you may have had with your child that may help others!
Answer: I will try not to make this too long but hopefully through our story (which has been going on for 6 years now), someone else will be helped. I am going to be a transparent here because I think it needs to happen. There are too many families out there struggling in the closet." I want to help them and tell them , you are not alone!"

Part 4

How do we get there?
We ask God to show us the wounds and bad fruit in our hearts. (Sometimes we can’t see it ourselves.) (Our RAD kids stir up stuff deep in us)
We repent of those things and ask for forgiveness
We ask God to show us what to replace them with. (Fruits of the Spirit)
These steps open us up to be clean vessels so God can pour His Love through us uncontaminated.
It does not mean we have to be perfect, it doesn’t mean we are not ever going to mess up. It doesn’t mean we are going to have instant success.
What it does mean, is that we are saying, God I want YOU to be the Healer in ME and MY CHILD. I believe you brought this child to us to us so they could live life abundantly and fulfill the destiny you have for them.
I give this child to you.
Satan wants so much for these kids NOT to live. Numerous times he’s tried to take them out by abandonment, rejection, abuse, loneliness, depression, fear, etc… Now that they are in a family, he continues his attack by trying to disrupt the families the child has been put in by anger, rejection, stress, chaos etc…
We have to realize it is not the child who is the problem but the enemy. I admit that it is hard to get past sometimes.

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