Saturday, March 9, 2013

One Egg Short of a Dozen??

( I posted this on FB so it accounts for the succinctness)
(Names have been omitted to protect the innocent)

A "NORMAL" morning at our house- Child 10 (6 yrs)  gets up before anyone else and fixes himself breakfast- cereal&milk,leaving a wonderful mess and then watches Netflix with the puppies who do not like to sit with him. He then later decides that he wants koolaid, so gets a cup, and makes a sugary slushy with the ingredients, Dad discovers this koolaid mess and is not happy~grumbling and irritated  as he clean it up and after he has punished CHILD 10 for it because this is the 100th time we have replayed this scene. He goes out to mow grass to work off steam.  CHILD 8(10 yrs.) gets up but actually stays in his room til 8 am as requested playing with legos but then gets himself an egg with no issues and watches Netflix with CHILD 10. CHILD 9,(10yrs) gets up to fix eggs for bkfst. & fights with CHILD 9 because he wants some eggs, Mom breaks up fight. CHILD 10 gets 2nd breakfast. CHILD 7 (12yrs) gets up and cooks eggs in a cast iron skillet burning the eggs, filling the house with the nasty aroma of said burned eggs. He then fills the cast iron skillet up with water, therefore starting the rusting process. Upon Mom's trip back  to the kitchen, she discovers that most of the bananas (About 12) are no longer in a bunch, but completely separated~ laying out all over the counter  because the older kids last night thought it was a great idea to do this.  MOM also discovers rusting pan and goes to find CHILD 7 so she can educate him on rust. She finds him, laying in the sun with the Basset hound, contemplating eating his burned eggs.   After lecture, Mom grabs a banana as she takes CHILD 10  back to her room to give him his ADD Essential oils~ because she is reminded that he is really needing it.  Since MOM is at it, she mixes up several days worth of oils for all 4 of her boys with ADHD, and gives her self a little boost of  the calming oils.  CHILD 5 (17 yrs) gets up and heads to the kitchen declaring" What is that smell???!!!!"  Mom yells that it is the burned eggs from CHILD 7, but upon intense sniffing, smells burning plastic! Upon getting closer to the kitchen she REALLY smells fingernail polish remover AND burned plastic. She assumes CHILD 9 has painted her fingernails.  All the while, CHILD 3 (20yrs) is declaring, "there is no plastic burning" Hmmm... Mom takes a closer look at the pot that has seen its last day, sitting on the burner and notices Ashes underneath. Hmmmm... Smells like plastic, handle is missing, Ashes under burner.  Mom is pretty sure plastic handle has burned. When asked what he is doing since he is supposedly banned from cooking because of other incidents, he replies, "I was boiling some eggs, it says we can on the menu."  Dad comes in and realizes he needs to immediately go back outside while thanking Ben for all the Carcinogenesis ( that mom had to look up how to spell to write this) that he has emitted into the air.  Ben doesn't know if that is good or bad.  Dad is not long outside before he comes barreling into the bedroom with THAT look on his face and as he grabs his phone, Mom asks "What now?" Evidently, dad has decided to mow the front of the yard outside the gate but the gate decided to break down, therefore locking us in on our property. Dad has no way to escape!  Evidently, the gate also has developmental delays because while Dad was talking to mom it opened all by itself.  In the Meantime, CHILD 5 is announcing  to Dad that she is going to have eggs today! Mom is assuming she finished her eggs because she announced to the family that she is off to do homework and to find her lost wallet. Mom stops her in the hallway, declaring (praying) that she will find it quickly. 10 minutes later CHILD 5 is amazed that she found it and thanks Mom for her declarations. BTW, This is only the beginning of the day, its not even 10am yet. CHILD 4 and CHILD 6 have not gotten up yet. I wonder if they will have eggs??
P.S. Dad, really did escape after the gate opened! He just walked in saying he got the whole yard mowed AND went to Play it Again Sports. --- Wonder if he was looking for a baseball bat? hehe

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